Child Support
by ZingZing
Summary: Vegita pays child support for Trunks ... FINALLY! Insanity and humor abound! -'


Child Support  
  
By Danielle Whitehurst =(^.^)~   
  
The Androids had awoken and had become defeated. Cell was destroyed at the cost of Goku's life. Everyone thought that they have seen the last of people from the future, but they were wrong… sort of...  
Dragon Ball Z belongs to whoever it belongs to. I guess some stinking rich Japanese guys in Japan who buy Picaso's and store them away forever in some vault, never to be looked at ever. Barney (I couldn't help but use him) belongs to some rich psychos who take delight in brainwashing and torturing little children. Enjoy the story. =^-^=  
  
"WOMAN!! Would you shut the infernal screaming of that babe of yours!!" yelled a very annoyed Vegita.  
  
Bulma had nodded off to sleep a while ago while holding Trunks, and was oblivious to his screams. She now stirred from her sleep and opened her eyes suddenly with a puzzled look on her face. She looked down at the crying Trunks and rocked him slowly in her arms. He suddenly became quiet and started sucking his thumb and cooing. It was very cute, and Bulma couldn't help but smile in appreciation. When she looked up again, she put a sneer on her face and began yelling at Vegita.  
"Vegita! I do not appreciate you yelling while baby Trunks is around. It's enough that you refuse to take care of him, but yelling!"  
"Goodness woman!" Vegita yelled back. "I'm not the only person yelling here. You scold me for yelling while you yell at me! Your nothing but a good for nothing hypocrite !! As for taking care of Trunks, that is a woman's job. I feel I do not need to take care of a weak earthling runt. I already know that he'll grow up to be a mighty warrior without my help. Why should I care to help him now?"  
"WHY YOU!"  
Bulma went psycho and leapt from her seat. She gently put Trunks down and leaped onto Vegita, smacking and beating him on his head and chest with her fists. Angry, he powered up. The energy pushed Bulma off him and flying into the wall. She "oofed" as she hit it and then slid off it onto the ground. Shortly afterwards, she regain her senses. She looked at Vegita with a nasty face, and him back at her with a twice as nasty one.  
"Woman!! Are you crazy!! You know that if I wanted to, I could easily blast you into cinders with a simple snap of my fingers!!" He screamed.  
Trunks had started wailing again. Vegita glanced towards him and frowned.  
"I tire of you Bulma! I want nothing to do with you. You are annoying and are destroying me with your constant banter and insolence! I want nothing to do with Trunks! I'm leaving you two for good!!"  
"Whatever Vegita!" Bulma yelled back. " You said that last time, and you came moping back here in no less then a week, begging to see Trunks! Well, You'll have your wish this time Vegita!   
Bulma climbed to her feet, shaking slightly. She grabbed Trunks and clutch him to her chest. She didn't look at Vegita, but only said "LEAVE!" in an extremely loud voice. Trunks started crying again, but this time, Bulma couldn't hush him.  
Vegita took his last look at Trunks, and left through the wall.  
  
*  
  
"GRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!"  
A brilliant, red beam of light raced through the sky, momentarily flashing the landscape in glorious red and blinding all those who saw it by its brightness. It's existence was short lived though. Seeming as though it could travel forever through space and time, it lasted for only a few seconds until it slammed into the body of a fierce fighter. The impact sent off many tiny beams. Some slammed into the ground raising up dirt clods and destroying rocks. Others raced off into the sky, continuing the legacy of it's forebearer. The being in which the beam hit went spiraling slowly to the ground - hurt, but not dead.  
Further off in the distance, the being who sent off the beam smirked. The beam didn't destroy his opponent like he intended it to, but he was still pleased. Now all that was left to do was finish the fool off. He raced down to meet his falling opponent. Letting gravity take full control of him, he threw a punch into his opponent's body- riding it down until his opponent hit the ground. When his opponent did hit the ground, a great explosion of white light erupted where his opponent landed, pushing him soaring through the sky. He righted himself out and slowed his assent to a halt.   
"AHRG! What the Hell!!" Yelled an annoyed Vegita. He had spent the whole day fighting a psychopathic Krillen. I know you all are surprised, but after Goku died and Android 18 dumped him (she called him a short, bald headed, caterpillar looking freak with no nose) and ran off with Piccolo, Krillen kind of went off the deep end. Don't tell me you weren't expecting this, cause it was going to happen eventually. Well, everyone could tolerate his complaining about how everyone looked forward to Goku saving the day and never him; and how after the many times he got beat up bad in battle, his power level never grew. Everyone could even tolerate (even the brain washed little kids) him destroying the sets of Barney and the Teletubies, except for maybe baby Trunks. Krillen took it way too far, at least in Vegita's mind, when he blew up the Colt 45 factory. As soon as he heard the news, he screamed, shook his fist into the air, and vowed to get revenge on Krillen much to the dismay of the rest of the DBZ guys who told him to just let Krillen do his thing until he start thinking straight again. So here Vegita was, fighting Krillen, just about to defeat him until that light came and hampered his progress.   
"The idoit who made that light will pay!!!"   
"Pay? I believe you're the one who needs to pay," a disembodied voice echoed out.   
"Says who!! Reveal yourself!!!"  
A thin line of light suddenly appeared in the air in front of Vegita. The line of light grew into a doorway of light. The light from the door was so bright, that the being standing in the doorway was completely silhouetted, and that Vegita had to hold his arm up over his contracted, slitted eyes. The figure gingerly stepped out and hovered in the air. He was about 5'7, squared shoulders, black hair, pale skin, glasses, blue business suit. On the pocket on the front of the suit was a badge that had the initials S.T.D. on it.   
"Ha! Who are you suppose to be?" Vegita asked in a slightly annoyed, slightly mocking, slightly amused voice. "Judging from the initials S.T.D., you must be here to crack down on me from my days as a horny young Saiyen," Vegita then said, nearly laughing.  
"Actually…" the man said in a snooty, matter-of-fact voice, "S.T.D. has no sexual connections. S.T.D. stands for Social Services Time Department."  
"I don't care who you are." Vegita answered, very annoyed and angered now. "All I know is that you prevented me from finishing off that *bleep* Krillen. I should just blast you from here to another dimension for that. Do you know who your dealing with. I'm . . ."  
"Hmmm, that's very nice indeed Mr. Vegita." The man interrupted, causing Vegita to turn beet red with anger. He lifted his hand and prepared to blast the man out of existence, but the man grabbed his wrist with incredible force that made Vegita wince out in pain. "Ungh aaah… I wouldn't do that If I were you."  
"Let go of me you infernal annoyance!!" Vegita yelled, struggling in the man's titanium grasp.  
"I will let you go, but only if I'm given your word that you will cooperate."  
"I am Prince of all the Saiyens!! I do not need to cooperAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!!!!!!!!!…" The man squeezed Vegita's hand very hard. So hard that some of the bone in it cracked. "Alright, alright, you win." He grumbled with much pain in his voice.  
"Excellent… Now then, the S.T.D. is a service based in your future, as in your son Trunk's future. He is, currently, at the age of 21 in the future. 21 is the legal age of adulthood. Through all of those twenty-one years, not a single credit of yours has been put to supporting Trunks. Matter fact, after we sent our very first notice of paying child support for Trunks to you, you disappeared off the face of the earth. We found you just last year as an unemployed gutter bum with a beer belly, unable to pay the years of unpaid child support. That's not the end of it. Due to you abandoning your son, he had started wondering why you didn't want him, and he became angered. Angered enough go on a quest to find and ask you why, destroying and hurting any and all in his path. He is the greatest menace the earth has ever faced in years."Too bad for you. I don't even know why you need to be here. I don't care either. Now let me go! IIIIEEEEEEEEE!!!!!"   
The man cracked some more of the bones in Vegita's hand.   
"You fail to see the connection Vegita. I was sent here to make sure that the disaster Trunks causes in the future never happens. I shall do that by making sure you pay your child support." He let go of Vegita's hand. Vegita snapped it back to his chest and rubbed it.  
"I don't see why they need a whole department for this?" Vegita grumbled.  
"You'd be surprised how often the Earth is threatened by people who grew up with out one of their spouses paying child support for them."  
"Hey! How is it your strong enough to stop me but not Trunks??"  
"This machine," the man mentioned over to the door suspended in free space, "it channels the energies of the space-time continuum directly into the body of those using it, significantly increasing their power levels. The farther back, the stronger the user becomes. Can't go back too far though, don't want to change history. " He said that with a devilish smile and a far away look, as if he had already changed the history of the past before.  
"Hmmm…" Vegita pondered a while and then let his thoughts subside.  
"Shall we get going Vegita? You know you have no choice?"   
"Going where?"  
"Why, to get you a job of course. Don't want you to end up not having a way to pay your child support." The man mention Vegita through the door. Vegita could only follow and grumble to himself something about finding this guy as he is in this time period and destroying him.   
  
***  
  
Four Weeks Later  
  
Bulma was sitting on a big, plushy, blue couch looking through her mail. She had a head wrap around her sea green hair and looked very exhausted. Apparently, raising a half Saiyen, half earthling baby was a big and exhausting task for a single mother, but then again, raising a baby while single is a big task none the less. Nearby, Trunks was fast asleep in a baby play pen. He was making cooing sounds that sounded as cute as he looked. Yamcha and Krillen were over, and by the looks of it, were free loading. They were laying on the floor watching a game of basket ball on the tv in front of the big blue couch munching away on chips, popcorn, and soda.   
"Bill, bill, junk, bill, junk." Bulma muttered softly to herself, putting the bills in a neat pile beside her, and throwing the junk mail in a sloppy pile to be later thrown in the trash.  
"Hmmmm…. What's this???" Bulma looked at a blue envelope with no return address. Written on the front in sloppy handwriting were the words "To Trunks." She quickly opened it, wondering who would send Trunks a letter, and what would be inside. What was inside left her speechless. It was a check amounting to 3,000 dollars. What made her even more surprised was the person who had signed the check.  
"KRILLEN!!!!"  
Krillen jumped, frighten, dropping his bowl of popcorn onto the carpet in the process.  
"Ah... What do you want Bulma?" He said in his characteristic shaky voice.  
"You little LIAR!!!! I thought you told me you had defeated Vegita and that he left the planet!!"  
"Bulma! I… I can explain…."  
"EXPLAIN!!! You know, I should have known better then to listen to a little coward like you! How in the world could a little shrimp like you beat up Vegita! He's ten times as strong as you are! But I did, because Vegita never came back! And then THIS shows up!"  
Bulma jumped from the couch and flashed the child support check into the air with Vegita's sloppy signature on it. She seemed to have grown fifty feet taller then Krillen and had a murderous look of glee on her face. Krillen froze. He was speechless. Yamcha could only laugh in amusement.   
"Krillen….." she growled." I'm gonna KILL YOU!!!" She leapt at Krillen, who was too stunned to move, but before she could choke him, Trunks had wakened up and started crying. He was distressed by the yells of his mother. Bulma stopped in mid air, and then went to the aid of her child.  
"Trunks… Oh Trunks…" She cooed. "I'm so sorry… I didn't mean to make you upset." She looked at Krillen. "See what you made me do!!! Now Trunks won't stop crying unless he watches his favorite show! But he can't though, cause you blew up the set to that show! And then yesterday, you just had to accidentally break all of Trunk's Barney videos, so he can't get relief that way! They don't sell those videos anymore you know!"  
Trunks started crying louder.  
"Bulma, I'm so sorry." That was all Krillen could muster.  
"The only thing I can do now is take Trunks to the new Barney restaurant that just opened. Guess who's coming along with me?!?"  
"For all that is holy, NOOOOOO!!!! You can't take me, you can't!!! You're submitting me to a fate worse then death itself!"  
"Shut up and get dressed! I'm leaving in a half hour! If your not ready, I swear I'll kill you!!!"  
Krillen whimpered and weakly scuttled away.  
  
*  
  
Later on Bulma, baby Trunks, and Krillen were sitting together in purple chairs (Trunks was in a purple high chair) around a purple table. There were little kids everywhere, and just as many parents there to match. There was lots of laughter and glee in the air. Trunks squealed in delight, clapping his cute little hands. Krillen groaned in pain. He was foaming at the mouth.  
"See Krillen, this isn't so bad, is it?" Bulma calmly said, enjoying Krillen's humiliation and pain.   
Krillen muttered something about needing a butter knife to end the pain of his existence, and was desperately moving his hands around searching for one. He found one, but it was plastic and it smelled of pixie stixs. His eyes rolled back into his head and more foam came out the side of his mouth. Bulma took the knife away and wiped his mouth with a cloth napkin, and then stuffed the napkin into his shirt to form a bib. Trunks found this all funny and laughed.  
A waiter dressed as Barney came over to take their orders.   
"Welcome to Barney's Playland. What would you didalee doo like?" He said this all in a dull, practiced, tortured voice. No cheerfulness, no warmth. He then took one good look at them, particularly Bulma and Trunks, and jumped and screamed in fright.  
"Daddy! Daddy! Daddy! Daddy!" Trunks happily sang.   
"Hey, I recognize that voice?!?" Bulma said quite angrily. She got up and gave the Barney waiter a look, and then struck.  
"WOMAN NOOOOOOOO!!!!!"   
It was too late. Bulma was too fast. She had ripped the mask off the waiter and was confronted face to face with a deathly pale Vegita.   
"AH HA! I knew it was you!" Bulma yelled triumphantly.  
The little kids who witnessed this event were traumatized for life. There was lots of crying and screams of fright. There was only one sound of joy. That sound was from Trunks. He wasn't traumatized, no he was ecstatic. In his mind, Barney was his father, and that made him feel like that happiest little baby in the world.  
Vegita shrunk his shoulders. He was a defeated warrior and a defiled prince, degraded to a lowly worker. Now he was left at whims of a woman. Never had this happened before, except for once, and he felt the same exact way now as he did then.  
"Daddy! Daddy!" Trunks sang again.  
"When did Trunks start talking?" Vegita asked puzzled.  
"Well…." Bulma said angrily with a bit of pride, "if you had been there with him instead of not wanting to be with him, then maybe you would have known!"  
Vegita picked up Trunks and looked at him. Trunks giggled and squirmed with much delight. Vegita felt something warm and mushy welling up inside him. His cheeks blushed red. He looked confused almost.  
"My son…." he whispered, pride beginning to form on his face.  
"Now there's something I thought I wouldn't have seen in a eternity." Bulma announced. "See Vegita, that feeling you feel is called paternal love."  
Vegita scowled at her and then looked back at Trunks. Then and there he promised to himself to never be apart from Trunk's life, ever.   
Vegita threw Trunks into the air and laughed. Bulma stood to the side, her arms crossed, a happy look on her face. Krillen was still lost in his own world. The rest of the restaurant was chaos. Off to the side in a secluded corner, a man with black hair, pale skin, and a blue business suit stood in front of a white doorway. He smiled at a job well done, and turn and walk through the white doorway back to his now changed and better future.  
  
***  
"What…. Huh…." Krillen lifted his head off his shoulder, apparently back in reality now. He looked around, first at the bib, and then at the chaos the restaurant was in. Then he caught a glance of Vegita. He was about to continue looking around, but he shot his eyes back at Vegita and panicked.  
"VEGITA!!! EEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!" Krillen screamed like a baby and then fainted into a trembling heap.   
  
  
FIN =^-^= 


End file.
